Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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