He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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