And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
