I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
