i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
