it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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