How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
