For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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