My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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