I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
