so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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