A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
