Already got asked if we're dating
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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