All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
