I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
