Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
