Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
