just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
