how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
