I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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