Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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