just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
she looked like the before picture.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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