my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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