My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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