i would punch a child for taco bell
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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