Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
