Is it because I queefed?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
