Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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