3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
