Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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