I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
