i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
