Jerry, you need to find god
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
