Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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