my soul wont recognize me after tonight
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
