She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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