talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
