I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
