This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
