Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
