I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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