Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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