found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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