he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
