I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
there was a trapeze. enough said
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
