i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
