not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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