I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
