She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
