Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
