the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
