she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
